Its been pointed out to me that all my entries start with either allusions to some form of alcohol induced disability, or an admission that my navigational prowess is comparable with that of the famous, if misrepresented, lemming. Lets set the record straight. Last night and today I did not touch a drop of the Devil's drink and occupied myself with emotionally balanced and well adjusted past-times. It all began on Saturday, when I woke up with a hangover at 3pm (DAMN!)...
Actually, this particular story goes back to Friday night. I went to dinner with Dave and Neil (Booth, not Mochan) to celebrate financial year end. We dropped into a place called Tengo, which serves Izakaya style food. It was surprisingly good and pretty cheap too. The interior reminded me of a tribal hall, and brought back memories of Beowulf and the LOTR films. We chomped down our food and one of my other colleagues turned up. A couple more beers to celebrate year end and Neil and I went off to Bauhaus. Bauhaus is the local rock bar/club. Actually, I'm not sure what sort of venue it was but it was laid out with very American style diner tables that faced towards the back corner. In the corner was clearly the set up for some band to play. Also, on our tables was a menu of songs. This sounded interesting. The disconcerting aspect was that we were the only patrons. Neil assured me it would liven up a bit. It turns out there was only one band, but boy did they rock. The selection of tracks came from the classic rock eras: 60-80s. There was one Nirvana track thrown in for good measure. I was really impressed, and this is a band that had honed there skills. I was further surprised when the waitresses started to get up to sing. They were both pretty cute and had pretty awesome voices for that kind of music! By the end I managed to get them to play my selection - Immigrant Song - and its the best version I've ever heard. As the Wraggster might say: Fuckin' A. Afterwards I met up with Dave again but we were both worse for wear. We staggered into 911 (one of the many local meat markets) and danced like idiots for a while. At that stage, a game of pool seemed like a great idea. One thing I love about Japan is its 24hr convenience. In this case we went into a fairly packed pool hall at 3am and racked up a few. We played darts too. The less said about that the better. Suffice to say, rubber dart boards suck. The night was polished off with a lovely bowl of Ramen and we left for home around 4.30 am.
So, now you understand why I woke up at three on Saturday. I really hate it when you wake up and it takes about an hour before you find the strength to do anything. Feeling slightly ashamed at my guitar skill level after the previous nights' rock fest I thrashed out a few of my favourites. Around about six I got a call reminding me I was supposed to be at a movie night in Shiba-Koen. D'oh, I got there about 7 but couldn't find the apartment for about 30 minutes. Anyway, they'd ordered me KFC (or Kentuck as Japanese like to call it) and I broke fast. Mmm, chicken and biscuits to start the day. I have to commend our host on his choice of Movie: Anchorman - The legend of Ron Burgandy. Its the funniest Will Ferrel movie I've seen. And the funniest movie I've seen in a while! "I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party." Nuff Said. This was followed by Appurusheed. Or Apple-seed for English speakers. A really cool Anime/Manga but no English subtitles. I was pretty lost so just sat back and enjoyed the graphics.
On to the main event. Today was spent in the pleasant company of six of my work colleagues and one Non-work colleague. The plan was formulated on Friday to go to Kawagoe. Kawagoe is a beautiful town that still has many Pre-Tokyo era buildings, plus many pre-war buildings. One of the main attractions is a beautiful temple called Kitain. It has many buildings that were transported from the original Edo castle (Edo is the town that became Tokyo) before Edo castle was burnt down during the war. The former site of Edo castle is now home to the Imperial place. Hopefully the snaps will go up tomorrow, but this place was beautiful. Thanks to Steph for picking it. Oh, lest I forget: I got lost on the way there. I was meant to go to the office to check out the directions but didn't have time so jumped on the subway. Big mistake, I should have got the over-ground train which would have taken 20 minutes. In the end I had to get a taxi to the tune of 2,800 yen!
Its now late Autumn around Tokyo which means the parks and towns are bedecked with the warm colours of Autumnal leaves. Kitain temple is especially beautiful. We were fortunate to get such a clear bright day. I think my fondest memory was sitting in the West porch of the temple with the crew and watching the sun play through the leaves. At that moment a woman in full kimono garb sat down by herself on the opposite side of us. It was such an anachronism - like something from 350 years ago being replayed for our benefit. The mood was broken when everyone started taking photos of her (including me). Like I say, the lighting was perfect, so I've managed to get a few photos I'm really proud of.
Today was also Children's Day. So the temple was very busy. Children's day is a special ceremony for 3,5 and 7 year olds. There were lots of you kids in very well done Kimonos. It must have taken hours just to get them all done up. Also, the hair on the girls was perfectly coiffed. We were standing behind the shrine watching one of the ceremonies when an old lady tapped me on the arm:
"Excuse Me!" - I instantly assumed she was trying to get passed so backed up and smiled.
"Excuse Me!" - This time she tugged on my sleeve. Ooh er, she was a bit crusty but probably sane. I replied "Hello."
"Where are you from?" I answered but she didn't understand.
"Where are you from?" (Remember - just keep nodding and smiling) "I'm from Scotland." "Neee!?!".
Before I could get over my shock and return the polite enquiry she backed off - smiling and waving the whole time. I couldn't do anything but smile and wave back. I'm told this is fairly common outside Tokyo, but apart from a five year old kid on my flight to Yunnan a couple of months ago, I'd never experienced any kind of interest in my origins. Apparently the further you get from Tokyo, the more fascinating white people are. I could faintly make out her exclamations to her travel buddies: "Su-kot-o-lando-jin ga!". Cue gasps. I almost expected one of them to faint. I was officially freaked out at all this. Fortunately the zen like qualities of Kitain temple soon put me at ease.
The day was finished with my first proper experience of Nabe (see photos). Its a kind of hotpot type soup dish. I opted for the Tofu Nabe and supplemented it with grilled whole fish and fried Chicken. Nothing left to do but go back to Tokyo and write this blog... Ahhh
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Damn! We're in a tight spot!
Also known as "Cows! I hate cows worse than coppers!"
So, two weeks to report on. I'm nursing a hangover right now so I'm not getting anything serious done... may as well do me blog.
First up - Karaoke last Friday. We went back to the big Shibuya Shidax for some more K. The big surprise (well for me, not for the locals) was one of my work colleagues' dulcet tones. This guy was reaaally good! Anyway, after screeching my way through California Dreamin' and Champagne Supernova I called it a night. Or rather, tried to. Dave tricked me into downing the last couple of beers. Of course I was sitting next to an attractive intelligent woman. So I had to try to impress her by demonstrating how much of a man I was by drinking beer as fast as possible. Hmmm. The result can only be measured in hammer blows. I was running at about three every ten seconds when I woke up the next day. A real side to side headache with up-down thrown in for fun. If you don't know what I mean, next time you have a head-ache. Try shaking your head and then try nodding. Usually only one direction elicits a pain response.
Next - Yokohama and the Raumen Museum. I took a trip to Yokohama to visit the large warehouse style furniture store called Homes on Saturday Morning. It turns out they've got loads of other stuff... in fact they have everything you could possibly want to set up a place. If only I'd known about it when I was _actually_ furniture shopping. Sigh. Anyway, I did find the coolest sofa and armchair set I've ever seen. The idea is that there are speakers built into the chairs above the shoulders, as well as a sub-woofer under the seat. You can get a pretty decent volume without disturbing the neighbours due to the proximity of the speakers, and you also experience pleasurable vibrations. One concern is whether or not having a big electro-magnet under your ass will leave you sterile and wipe all your credit cards. Anyway, I'm thinking of getting the arm-chair with my bonus. Argh, no I can't - it costs over 500 quid! I'll go ON HOLIDAY instead. (I need to keep reminding myself that... I'm soo tempted!) To polish off the afternoon we went to the Ramen Museum. It has a pretty cool diorama of a 1920s style Japanese street. There are a number of pretty famous Ramen shops in the museum and you can sit down and have some of the best noodles I've ever tried. They also sell a bunch of authentic traditional sweets and snacks. Awesome. Upstairs is a "Make your own Cup Noodle" factory. You can pick any ingredients and they'll make a cup noodle for you on the spot. Awesome!! We didn't have time, but if I go back I'll be sure to get some. In fact, if anyone comes to visit me we'll go there for a day trip.
Saturday Night - Party in Mita. Another work colleague was having a party. Unable to resist the lure of Pizza + Beer I turned up a little ragged from the previous night's excess. I'm yet to find a proven hangover cure, but the Ramen I ate at the museum was putting up a brave attempt. We ended up laughing our asses off to Dodgeball and indulging in that proven student baiting game of building towers out of beer cans. Thumbs up to Yoka who managed to knock it down seconds after taking a photo of it ("it was the flash that did it!" - yeah right).
Wednesday- Yasumi! (Yasumi == holiday). I somehow ended up drinking again on Monday with a couple of guys from work, discussing what to do for the coming holidays. I ended up eating in La Jolla, my local Mexican restaurant. Mmmm, Chimi Changa. I took a night off on Tuesday because I was feeling sick and slept in yesterday because it was a Holiday!! Awesome, I had a looong bath, went to buy an electric heater (its frickin' cold now), picked up a couple of books, and ended up going to a really cool bar. In Shibuya there is this little street near the station with a bunch of tiny little pubs (I'll try to get the photos up soon). The door is almost too narrow for me to get in, there is an almost vertical staircase that I couldn't climb properly because I kept hitting my knee on the next step up - there wasn't room to go up sideways, and four bar stools. That's it. The bar (called "Tight") could legally fit 17 people, but we had six in and it felt cosy. There was one couple sitting at the `far' end of the bar, then me and Dave, and then two random punters who had to stand on the stairs, and on the banister whilst hanging over the staircase. To go to the loo, we had to climb under the guy's legs! The decor was modern, and there were two 14inch LCD TVs behind the bar playing the latest Director's Label DVDs. The sound system was a decent Bose set up too so the tunes were pumping out. The locals ended up trying to teach us various swear words and bad English to Japanese translations. My top three where
1) Hold Me - Sounds like "Ho Mi". Which means c*ck.
2) First Kitchin - an American style diner - gets shortened to "Fir-Kin". Phonetically - "Fuh King"
3) Little Policemen - These guys didn't like the police and told me a sure way to insult them (and get arrested) was to call them Chotto Police ga.
There were more, including how to call someone a bitch, but to me it was just a random string of syllables that I can't remember... Dave'll post it if anyone asks.
Anyway it was all fun and games till we realised Dave had been robbed of about $100 :-(
I got home at around 2am. Hence my need to go for Curry at lunch today. Mmm... I think I'll round it off with a tall Mocha from Starbucks. Yummy...
So, two weeks to report on. I'm nursing a hangover right now so I'm not getting anything serious done... may as well do me blog.
First up - Karaoke last Friday. We went back to the big Shibuya Shidax for some more K. The big surprise (well for me, not for the locals) was one of my work colleagues' dulcet tones. This guy was reaaally good! Anyway, after screeching my way through California Dreamin' and Champagne Supernova I called it a night. Or rather, tried to. Dave tricked me into downing the last couple of beers. Of course I was sitting next to an attractive intelligent woman. So I had to try to impress her by demonstrating how much of a man I was by drinking beer as fast as possible. Hmmm. The result can only be measured in hammer blows. I was running at about three every ten seconds when I woke up the next day. A real side to side headache with up-down thrown in for fun. If you don't know what I mean, next time you have a head-ache. Try shaking your head and then try nodding. Usually only one direction elicits a pain response.
Next - Yokohama and the Raumen Museum. I took a trip to Yokohama to visit the large warehouse style furniture store called Homes on Saturday Morning. It turns out they've got loads of other stuff... in fact they have everything you could possibly want to set up a place. If only I'd known about it when I was _actually_ furniture shopping. Sigh. Anyway, I did find the coolest sofa and armchair set I've ever seen. The idea is that there are speakers built into the chairs above the shoulders, as well as a sub-woofer under the seat. You can get a pretty decent volume without disturbing the neighbours due to the proximity of the speakers, and you also experience pleasurable vibrations. One concern is whether or not having a big electro-magnet under your ass will leave you sterile and wipe all your credit cards. Anyway, I'm thinking of getting the arm-chair with my bonus. Argh, no I can't - it costs over 500 quid! I'll go ON HOLIDAY instead. (I need to keep reminding myself that... I'm soo tempted!) To polish off the afternoon we went to the Ramen Museum. It has a pretty cool diorama of a 1920s style Japanese street. There are a number of pretty famous Ramen shops in the museum and you can sit down and have some of the best noodles I've ever tried. They also sell a bunch of authentic traditional sweets and snacks. Awesome. Upstairs is a "Make your own Cup Noodle" factory. You can pick any ingredients and they'll make a cup noodle for you on the spot. Awesome!! We didn't have time, but if I go back I'll be sure to get some. In fact, if anyone comes to visit me we'll go there for a day trip.
Saturday Night - Party in Mita. Another work colleague was having a party. Unable to resist the lure of Pizza + Beer I turned up a little ragged from the previous night's excess. I'm yet to find a proven hangover cure, but the Ramen I ate at the museum was putting up a brave attempt. We ended up laughing our asses off to Dodgeball and indulging in that proven student baiting game of building towers out of beer cans. Thumbs up to Yoka who managed to knock it down seconds after taking a photo of it ("it was the flash that did it!" - yeah right).
Wednesday- Yasumi! (Yasumi == holiday). I somehow ended up drinking again on Monday with a couple of guys from work, discussing what to do for the coming holidays. I ended up eating in La Jolla, my local Mexican restaurant. Mmmm, Chimi Changa. I took a night off on Tuesday because I was feeling sick and slept in yesterday because it was a Holiday!! Awesome, I had a looong bath, went to buy an electric heater (its frickin' cold now), picked up a couple of books, and ended up going to a really cool bar. In Shibuya there is this little street near the station with a bunch of tiny little pubs (I'll try to get the photos up soon). The door is almost too narrow for me to get in, there is an almost vertical staircase that I couldn't climb properly because I kept hitting my knee on the next step up - there wasn't room to go up sideways, and four bar stools. That's it. The bar (called "Tight") could legally fit 17 people, but we had six in and it felt cosy. There was one couple sitting at the `far' end of the bar, then me and Dave, and then two random punters who had to stand on the stairs, and on the banister whilst hanging over the staircase. To go to the loo, we had to climb under the guy's legs! The decor was modern, and there were two 14inch LCD TVs behind the bar playing the latest Director's Label DVDs. The sound system was a decent Bose set up too so the tunes were pumping out. The locals ended up trying to teach us various swear words and bad English to Japanese translations. My top three where
1) Hold Me - Sounds like "Ho Mi". Which means c*ck.
2) First Kitchin - an American style diner - gets shortened to "Fir-Kin". Phonetically - "Fuh King"
3) Little Policemen - These guys didn't like the police and told me a sure way to insult them (and get arrested) was to call them Chotto Police ga.
There were more, including how to call someone a bitch, but to me it was just a random string of syllables that I can't remember... Dave'll post it if anyone asks.
Anyway it was all fun and games till we realised Dave had been robbed of about $100 :-(
I got home at around 2am. Hence my need to go for Curry at lunch today. Mmm... I think I'll round it off with a tall Mocha from Starbucks. Yummy...
Friday, November 18, 2005
Classic Spiff
I've added a Classic Spiff section under my Links - this should make accessing those favourite posts easy peasy. Just leave a comment if you would like any entry added.
- SAB
- SAB
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Atari!
Spotted on Saturday after taking a wrong turning on the way to Shibuya from my place. I was tempted to go for a closer look but the place was closed :-(
Hong Kong? Phoeey... (China pt.III)
I landed in Shen Zhen on Thursday at about 6pm-ish feeling a little groggy from the flight. Before we even left for China Dave and Raymond had been teasing me relentlessly about the kind of thing that can happen to a lonely white guy in Shen Zhen, especially if they have a large golf bag with them and the shiny aura of a bewildered traveler. However, it seems getting through domestic Chinese flights were not a problem. Also, when I landed, there were actually plenty of English signs pointing me towards the Hong Kong bus companies. So it was a simple matter of buying a standard ticket to Kowloon, jumping onto the bus and hopping over the border when I got there. Border control between China and Hong Kong was a little odd. I had to fill in a form to get through the China side of the border, then another form to get through to the Hong Kong side. It was essentially the same form too, so I've no idea why they think its necessary to manage it this way. And since I was the only tourist and I was carrying loads of baggage, that meant I held the bus up and annoyed everyone. Its not as if there was anything I could do though. I eventually arrived at my accommodation (the Kowloon YMCA - I can see Nev's comments now...) at around 11pm and dropped straight into bed.
Friday started with the cleaning lady barging into my room. This happened every day I was in Hong Kong apart from that one time I remembered to put the "Do not disturb sign" on my door. It was the same cleaning lady every time too. Its fair to say I wasn't impressed at this. However, it did have the fortunate side effect that I got out of bed before breakfast finished. One odd thing about the YMCA was the fact that it seemed to be mostly couples staying there. At breakfast I was the only person sitting on their own. Its not pretty to watch to newly weds spoon feed Greek yoghurt to each other whilst making not very subtle jokes about the similarities between Greek yoghurt and well, I'm sure you can guess. At the other end of the spectrum were the crusty old couples (variously smelling of urine) spoon feeding eachother Greek yoghurt and making not so subtle jokes... you get the picture. Some things aren't worth considering over a bowl of cornflakes and Greek yoghurt.
Anyway, my plan for Friday was to head up to the Peak (which I didn't make) after visiting the office and looking for some cheap PSP games. I dropped into the office at around 11 and met the HKG crew. They took me out to lunch at a local noodle shop where I had my first taste of genuine HK noodles. Yummy. Afterwards I got some advice on socket converters (annoyingly, Hong Kong runs a UK electrical setup. So all the converters I'd bought for china didn't work), and went out to find the knock off psp shops. I ended up buying Burnout for the PSP which I am yet to play. I don't know why I do this - buy a game/console and never actually work up the patience to sit down and use the bloody thing. But anyway it gave me a chance to walk through the financial and shopping districts of the main island. I was fairly impressed. Although the buildings are ridiculously tall and crowded together, the quality of architecture generally surpasses that of Japan and China. This is for two reasons. Firstly they don't have to worry about earthquakes so the buildings can be extremely tall without worrying about structural expense. Secondly, there is a lot of money floating around out there so they don't cut corners. Another aspect that helps make HK attractive are the abundance of old colonial style buildings. Some of them could have been lifted straight out of Bank in London. Later that day I also stumbled into a couple of VCD and import DVD shops. I was sorely tempted to splurge my cash but I really didn't have room for much beyond the VCD of Kung Fu Hustle I bought on my last day.
Friday night was another matter. I met up with Alex from London who has moved out to Hong Kong permanently with the firm. She is getting on well and should be renting her own place by now rather than staying in Corporate Apartments. We ate in Lan Kwai Fong (there was still no sign of Nev's illustrious lady boys) and chatted about relocation etc. Eventually we met up with one of her mates from the UK who also happened to be in town and went for some drinks. Alex seems to know all the cute barmaids (from being stranded out there with no one to hang around with) which meant her mate and myself had a nice time enjoying the view! Also, towards the end we just stood on the street and watched the girls go by. After about eight or nine pints I hit the road, the ferry and eventually the sack.
Saturday was that one morning where I was blessedly spared the attentions of the cleaning lady. That was fortunate because it took till midday to unglue my eyelids. My plan for the day was simple: Get to the Peak. I didn't know what I'd do when I got there but by Jove I'd do it old boy. Anyway, I got ready and put some needed fuel down the gullet. The tram to the top leaves from the main island so I hopped over in the ferry and walked up to the tram station. It was a fantastic old fashioned mountain tram that creaked and bumped its way to the top. It also slows down near the top so you get an awesome cross bay view. At the top is a couple of observation points, a path round the peak, and a shopping mall. Still feeling squeezy I decided to limit my wanderings to the polished colonnades of the shopping centre and grabbed a book to read whilst sitting in the sun. One of the nicest aspects of sitting up there was the fact that the sounds from the city didn't make it all the way up....
Later that day I met up with some work folks and went for a meal in a plush restaurant near my hotel. I can't remember the name of the place but I do remember they served sweet crispy noodles. Mmmm. The evening was completed by a tour of the main island and a brief stop in Stanley. A little fishing village that reminded me of ye olde British sea side towns.
My last full day was spent enjoying Lan Tau island with my Boss and his Wife. First stop was the awesome Buddha - biggest I've ever seen - near the central peak of the island. This spot is isolated and beautiful. The monks at the monastery live a life of quiet service and ask only that we respect their peace... its a pity then that a hulking cable car service is being constructed right next to it... sigh. We also visited another fishing town called Tai O on the far western point of the island. This was a rustic little affair with genuine weather-beaten locals and shanty town style plywood huts. It was a little weird to see this kind of poverty so close to the hubbub of the airport and on such a small island too. Its like the government doesn't really care about these people... Anyway, you can see the photos on flickr. Oh, lest I forget. I had some fantastic Char Sui pork courtesy of Raymond at one of his local restaurants. Mmm
Then it was Monday and I was on my way back to Tokyo... What had I achieved in China? Lets recap, in order of importance:
1) A nice tan
2) Eating Dog
3) Eating Frog
4) Eating Sweet Crispy Noodles
5) Eating Crazy sweets in Tai O
6) Seeing a hyuge Buddha
7) Buying import PSP games
8) Meeting cute Locals
9) Losing lots of money at golf
10) Getting my worst recorded score at golf.
Hmm, next time I go on holiday, I think I'll hold off on the Golf.
Friday started with the cleaning lady barging into my room. This happened every day I was in Hong Kong apart from that one time I remembered to put the "Do not disturb sign" on my door. It was the same cleaning lady every time too. Its fair to say I wasn't impressed at this. However, it did have the fortunate side effect that I got out of bed before breakfast finished. One odd thing about the YMCA was the fact that it seemed to be mostly couples staying there. At breakfast I was the only person sitting on their own. Its not pretty to watch to newly weds spoon feed Greek yoghurt to each other whilst making not very subtle jokes about the similarities between Greek yoghurt and well, I'm sure you can guess. At the other end of the spectrum were the crusty old couples (variously smelling of urine) spoon feeding eachother Greek yoghurt and making not so subtle jokes... you get the picture. Some things aren't worth considering over a bowl of cornflakes and Greek yoghurt.
Anyway, my plan for Friday was to head up to the Peak (which I didn't make) after visiting the office and looking for some cheap PSP games. I dropped into the office at around 11 and met the HKG crew. They took me out to lunch at a local noodle shop where I had my first taste of genuine HK noodles. Yummy. Afterwards I got some advice on socket converters (annoyingly, Hong Kong runs a UK electrical setup. So all the converters I'd bought for china didn't work), and went out to find the knock off psp shops. I ended up buying Burnout for the PSP which I am yet to play. I don't know why I do this - buy a game/console and never actually work up the patience to sit down and use the bloody thing. But anyway it gave me a chance to walk through the financial and shopping districts of the main island. I was fairly impressed. Although the buildings are ridiculously tall and crowded together, the quality of architecture generally surpasses that of Japan and China. This is for two reasons. Firstly they don't have to worry about earthquakes so the buildings can be extremely tall without worrying about structural expense. Secondly, there is a lot of money floating around out there so they don't cut corners. Another aspect that helps make HK attractive are the abundance of old colonial style buildings. Some of them could have been lifted straight out of Bank in London. Later that day I also stumbled into a couple of VCD and import DVD shops. I was sorely tempted to splurge my cash but I really didn't have room for much beyond the VCD of Kung Fu Hustle I bought on my last day.
Friday night was another matter. I met up with Alex from London who has moved out to Hong Kong permanently with the firm. She is getting on well and should be renting her own place by now rather than staying in Corporate Apartments. We ate in Lan Kwai Fong (there was still no sign of Nev's illustrious lady boys) and chatted about relocation etc. Eventually we met up with one of her mates from the UK who also happened to be in town and went for some drinks. Alex seems to know all the cute barmaids (from being stranded out there with no one to hang around with) which meant her mate and myself had a nice time enjoying the view! Also, towards the end we just stood on the street and watched the girls go by. After about eight or nine pints I hit the road, the ferry and eventually the sack.
Saturday was that one morning where I was blessedly spared the attentions of the cleaning lady. That was fortunate because it took till midday to unglue my eyelids. My plan for the day was simple: Get to the Peak. I didn't know what I'd do when I got there but by Jove I'd do it old boy. Anyway, I got ready and put some needed fuel down the gullet. The tram to the top leaves from the main island so I hopped over in the ferry and walked up to the tram station. It was a fantastic old fashioned mountain tram that creaked and bumped its way to the top. It also slows down near the top so you get an awesome cross bay view. At the top is a couple of observation points, a path round the peak, and a shopping mall. Still feeling squeezy I decided to limit my wanderings to the polished colonnades of the shopping centre and grabbed a book to read whilst sitting in the sun. One of the nicest aspects of sitting up there was the fact that the sounds from the city didn't make it all the way up....
Later that day I met up with some work folks and went for a meal in a plush restaurant near my hotel. I can't remember the name of the place but I do remember they served sweet crispy noodles. Mmmm. The evening was completed by a tour of the main island and a brief stop in Stanley. A little fishing village that reminded me of ye olde British sea side towns.
My last full day was spent enjoying Lan Tau island with my Boss and his Wife. First stop was the awesome Buddha - biggest I've ever seen - near the central peak of the island. This spot is isolated and beautiful. The monks at the monastery live a life of quiet service and ask only that we respect their peace... its a pity then that a hulking cable car service is being constructed right next to it... sigh. We also visited another fishing town called Tai O on the far western point of the island. This was a rustic little affair with genuine weather-beaten locals and shanty town style plywood huts. It was a little weird to see this kind of poverty so close to the hubbub of the airport and on such a small island too. Its like the government doesn't really care about these people... Anyway, you can see the photos on flickr. Oh, lest I forget. I had some fantastic Char Sui pork courtesy of Raymond at one of his local restaurants. Mmm
Then it was Monday and I was on my way back to Tokyo... What had I achieved in China? Lets recap, in order of importance:
1) A nice tan
2) Eating Dog
3) Eating Frog
4) Eating Sweet Crispy Noodles
5) Eating Crazy sweets in Tai O
6) Seeing a hyuge Buddha
7) Buying import PSP games
8) Meeting cute Locals
9) Losing lots of money at golf
10) Getting my worst recorded score at golf.
Hmm, next time I go on holiday, I think I'll hold off on the Golf.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Birth Anouncement
-----Original Message-----
From: Neil Mochan
Sent: Tuesday, November 01, 2005 12:34 AM
Subject: Great news!
Hi everyone,
Today at around 5pm, my fiance Teika give birth to our son, who is as yet unnamed. He weighed 2.5kg (about 5.5lb) at birth. This will probably be a surprise to some of you, and also to me as he was due to be born in December! Regardless he is very healthy, as is Teika (albeit very tired), and is probably the biggest baby in the ward!
Regards,
Neil
From: Neil Mochan
Sent: Tuesday, November 01, 2005 12:34 AM
Subject: Great news!
Hi everyone,
Today at around 5pm, my fiance Teika give birth to our son, who is as yet unnamed. He weighed 2.5kg (about 5.5lb) at birth. This will probably be a surprise to some of you, and also to me as he was due to be born in December! Regardless he is very healthy, as is Teika (albeit very tired), and is probably the biggest baby in the ward!
Regards,
Neil
Monday, October 31, 2005
Japan Highland Games
On Sunday October 30th, the 23rd annual Japan Highland Games were held. With contestants from bonny Scotland, England, Ireland, the US, Canada, Switzerland, France and of course Japan, it is fair to say the day was a success for Highland Gamers everywhere...
However, Given the cold haggis, colder neeps'n'tatties, nasty whiskey, frothy beer, undercooked shortbread and dodgy fish'n'chips, its also fair to say that the event was a disaster for Scottish cuisine. The saving grace was the cheap 'britz' crisps on offer. Mmmm, I haven't had Salt and Vinegar in ages!
Anyway, the day started at 10 am for me. I woke up, staggered out of bed, fumbled my way to the bathroom, drained the bladder then finally opened my eyes. A quick shower later I felt refreshed enough to make the two hour trip to Makuhari. But not before a stop to the office to print out the map I'd need to find the event. I got to Tokyo station around 11am, and discovered it takes about 20 minutes to transfer from the Marunouchi line to the Keiyo line - Ouch! I knew I was on the right track when I saw other folks in kilts looking lost. It was at this point I remembered I had a kilt myself. Oh well, too late for that. I later discovered I'd left my camera on the charger too. Somewhat over an hour later I arrived in Makuhari and trusted my map to get me there. It turns out the map was TOTALLY RUBBISH and I spent an extra 10 minutes walking round the event grounds when I was meant to head into them. I discovered this when I took my headphones off and could hear bagpipes behind me. D'oh!
So I arrived on the scene well past lunch time and took a wander round the field. The first thing we saw was the standard fair stall setup with food stalls, beer stalls, souvineer stalls and random 'Scotland Society' event stalls. Adjacent to this on the right was a fenced off area for the heavy games (hammer throw etc). On the left was a stage for dancing contests. Between this and the fenced area was a section for the pipe band contest. Further afield were the track events for kids, as well as the tug o'war area. Finally, the football pitches (the 'modern event' were at the back of the field.
I found Mochan huffing and puffing on the last pitch. His team had just won their second game 1-0. Teika was there too, so we sat down for a chat and watched the footy for a bit.
By this stage, my hunger got the better of me. I'd been steeling myself for some luvly haggis but it wasn't to be. I queued for a good 15 minutes before proudly standing at the food stall and with a smile on my face asked for "Haggis, neeps an' tatties please!". The woman, clearly ready to take her own life if one more person asked for brown sauce, slopped something browny-grey onto a polystyrene container. I assume this was the haggis. It was closely follwed by a gloop of yellowy chunky stuff I am hoping was the neeps'n'tatties. The photo below shows this gristly concoction in its full glory, along with my pasty blue thumb.
Being sure to masticate as slowly as possible I trundled over to the dancing and watched a bit of that. They were actually pretty good. Although some groups seemed to miss the 'scottish' part of the 'traditional scottish dancing'. Still, it was entertaining.
Next up was the caber toss, I only watched a few folk attempt this. Most couldn't really do it but a few managed it as below.
The final event worthy of note was the pipe band contest. There were a fair few teams taking part in this and the Japanese pipers were really good. They even mastered the dour 'a seagull just shat on my best shoes' look for true authenticity. I took some videos which I _wont_ be uploading but here is a picture of the winners instead:
The remaining dregs of the day were spent enjoying that most traditional of Scottish past-times: Drinking. I had a few pints of Bass, a couple of Boddington's and topped it off with what appeared to be a quadruple shot of Ballantyne's finest firewater. All this to the accompaniment of various be-kilted blokes complaining about football. I had flashbacks of knocking back cheap cider at the tryst in Larbert. I hadn't drank in a park like that since I was 18.
I then staggered back to the train station with Mochan and Wife before complaining loudly all the way home on the train. The evening was topped off with a McDonalds and a reprise of 'Garden State' before bed.
ps, The hangover I had this morning is one of the worst I've had in ages!
However, Given the cold haggis, colder neeps'n'tatties, nasty whiskey, frothy beer, undercooked shortbread and dodgy fish'n'chips, its also fair to say that the event was a disaster for Scottish cuisine. The saving grace was the cheap 'britz' crisps on offer. Mmmm, I haven't had Salt and Vinegar in ages!
Anyway, the day started at 10 am for me. I woke up, staggered out of bed, fumbled my way to the bathroom, drained the bladder then finally opened my eyes. A quick shower later I felt refreshed enough to make the two hour trip to Makuhari. But not before a stop to the office to print out the map I'd need to find the event. I got to Tokyo station around 11am, and discovered it takes about 20 minutes to transfer from the Marunouchi line to the Keiyo line - Ouch! I knew I was on the right track when I saw other folks in kilts looking lost. It was at this point I remembered I had a kilt myself. Oh well, too late for that. I later discovered I'd left my camera on the charger too. Somewhat over an hour later I arrived in Makuhari and trusted my map to get me there. It turns out the map was TOTALLY RUBBISH and I spent an extra 10 minutes walking round the event grounds when I was meant to head into them. I discovered this when I took my headphones off and could hear bagpipes behind me. D'oh!
So I arrived on the scene well past lunch time and took a wander round the field. The first thing we saw was the standard fair stall setup with food stalls, beer stalls, souvineer stalls and random 'Scotland Society' event stalls. Adjacent to this on the right was a fenced off area for the heavy games (hammer throw etc). On the left was a stage for dancing contests. Between this and the fenced area was a section for the pipe band contest. Further afield were the track events for kids, as well as the tug o'war area. Finally, the football pitches (the 'modern event' were at the back of the field.
I found Mochan huffing and puffing on the last pitch. His team had just won their second game 1-0. Teika was there too, so we sat down for a chat and watched the footy for a bit.
By this stage, my hunger got the better of me. I'd been steeling myself for some luvly haggis but it wasn't to be. I queued for a good 15 minutes before proudly standing at the food stall and with a smile on my face asked for "Haggis, neeps an' tatties please!". The woman, clearly ready to take her own life if one more person asked for brown sauce, slopped something browny-grey onto a polystyrene container. I assume this was the haggis. It was closely follwed by a gloop of yellowy chunky stuff I am hoping was the neeps'n'tatties. The photo below shows this gristly concoction in its full glory, along with my pasty blue thumb.
Being sure to masticate as slowly as possible I trundled over to the dancing and watched a bit of that. They were actually pretty good. Although some groups seemed to miss the 'scottish' part of the 'traditional scottish dancing'. Still, it was entertaining.
Next up was the caber toss, I only watched a few folk attempt this. Most couldn't really do it but a few managed it as below.
The final event worthy of note was the pipe band contest. There were a fair few teams taking part in this and the Japanese pipers were really good. They even mastered the dour 'a seagull just shat on my best shoes' look for true authenticity. I took some videos which I _wont_ be uploading but here is a picture of the winners instead:
The remaining dregs of the day were spent enjoying that most traditional of Scottish past-times: Drinking. I had a few pints of Bass, a couple of Boddington's and topped it off with what appeared to be a quadruple shot of Ballantyne's finest firewater. All this to the accompaniment of various be-kilted blokes complaining about football. I had flashbacks of knocking back cheap cider at the tryst in Larbert. I hadn't drank in a park like that since I was 18.
I then staggered back to the train station with Mochan and Wife before complaining loudly all the way home on the train. The evening was topped off with a McDonalds and a reprise of 'Garden State' before bed.
ps, The hangover I had this morning is one of the worst I've had in ages!
Thursday, October 27, 2005
I am not Dave Gorman
While indulging in a bit of vanity surfing to see how high my blog is ranking on Google these days I found This website dedicated to a band called Byrney. The origin of their name is a bit crap, and I suspect the band probably split up some time ago... Anyway, I thought it was worth mentioning.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Wiki-wild-wild-pedia
I couldn't resist commenting on the current Reg articles about wikipedia. I've always liked wikipedia because its ease of access but hadn't really considered the accuracy of the content. This put it all into perspective. One comment that stood out:
"I believe that the tone of the article is quite demeaning and misses out on the one indisputable quality that Wikipedia has brought into being. Now, thanks to the convergence of a million monkeys typing on a million keyboards, and after more than two millennia of breathless waiting, we finally have a modern, technologically advanced and incredibly complex version of the stables of Augias. One can only wonder, amazed by this Babel tower of Klingonesque beauty, if and where from will our modern Heracles will emerge, to transform this gem of astounding impurity into something worthy of the name "encyclopaedia".
As for me, I won't hold my breath for it." - Pascal Monnett
"I believe that the tone of the article is quite demeaning and misses out on the one indisputable quality that Wikipedia has brought into being. Now, thanks to the convergence of a million monkeys typing on a million keyboards, and after more than two millennia of breathless waiting, we finally have a modern, technologically advanced and incredibly complex version of the stables of Augias. One can only wonder, amazed by this Babel tower of Klingonesque beauty, if and where from will our modern Heracles will emerge, to transform this gem of astounding impurity into something worthy of the name "encyclopaedia".
As for me, I won't hold my breath for it." - Pascal Monnett
Monday, October 24, 2005
China Part 2 - When Golf attacks
"... Having ate Rover, I felt ready for what the holiday would bring." It was true, but I didn't really know what to expect either. This is what I _did_ know: There were four games of golf lined up for the next four days, one of my golf partners I was yet to meet, and when that was over I'd have to find my way back to Hong Kong. All this in a country where English isn't the lingua franca, but something uttered by evil outsiders (OK, I'm being xenophobic - but the Great Wall of China was built for just that reason, to keep out the evil outsiders, and there is still some fear in China big though it may be).
So Day Three began. After about 10 hours sleep, I finally felt refreshed enough to get up and face the day. As is usual, the lack of sleep from the previous two days had left me drained. I always get this when I travel but fortunately I knew I could take this day easy. The plan was to meet Will at the airport and go to the golf resort. With that special non-motivation that only holiday-goers seem to be able to muster we roll out of bed and get ready. The view from the Window is still the contrasting shanty town against the backdrop of shiny towers and giant arches. More on this later - the dichotomy that is China still fascinates me but this isn't the right place to discuss it... The taxi we took to the airport was filthy. I was wearing my blue engrish.com T-shirt but it looked like it was a blue/brown camo shirt by the time I got out. Also, the taxi driver was a woman that insisted on taking maximum advantage of whatever slipstreams she could shoehorn her cab into. I can't imagine a Donkey cart generates enough air turbulence to have an effect on an approaching vehicle but she seemed determined to find out every time we narrowly passed one at high speed. Actually there aren't many donkey carts in Kunming. The pecking order -lowest to highest- seems to be: Pedestrians, cyclists, electric-motorcyclists (these were cool - and environmentally friendly... not that it made a difference there were so many cars), cars, buses, trucks and finally Animals. OK, not dogs etc, but horses, donkeys and anything else that someone's welfare might depend on. It shows that the Chinese value human life in a different way from western cultures. I'm not saying the value it less, just differently. For example, if someone were to be run over on a road, it is their fault for being on the road, but if someone were to run over a horse, the driver would probably have to cough up. To be fair, I respect this more than the how the home of litigious excess that is America devalues human life with its charade of revenge/justice (this is true of the UK too, and I'm not attacking Americans, just part of the culture), but its a bit unnerving, and as a foreigner you have to remember that "roads are dangerous" and listening to your stereo or reading a billboard while walking across the street is a bit of a death-wish. Indeed I almost got ran over once, not because I wasn’t paying attention but because I didn't realise that drivers WILL NOT STOP in China if you stand in front of them, and with my Rabbit in Headlights reaction it was a close thing. Luckily the traffic was heavy anyway so the car was slow and I got my act together. In this case, I wouldn't have been hurt.
At the Airport I had to pay Will so I handed over my wedge of Renminbi (it was a large wedge - the exchange rate is 14.2 vs. Sterling at time of writing). Will paid the travel Agent. I didn't even realise who the guy was until he got out of the van and disappeared into the sunset with my hard earned cash, they spoke Chinese after all. Then we were off ourselves. Introductions over and it was clear that Will is a smart and ambitious kind of guy. I won’t go into details but I could tell that a) I'd lose money to him at some point during the holiday and b) he probably grasped this as well. I wasn't bothered though because he is actually a nice guy. A consummate salesman; he had us geared up for the golf in no time. We arrived at the resort and I was pretty impressed. The view of the valley and the lake was stunning, especially at sunset. We were put up in a two bedroom villa near the top of the Valley. The course is on the Northern side and collects a lot of sunlight during the day. This meant the grass was lush, the air was fresh, and the general atmosphere was incredibly relaxing. This may have been due to the beers we necked in the club-house (I say clubhouse, it was really a hotel reception with appropriate bar/restaurant) but it felt good at the time.
Six-am is golf o'clock, or so I'm told. Aaaargh... I'm yawning just thinking about it. We started at about 7.30 after breakfast and a quick jolly to the driving range. The first hole was pretty impressive. The early morning light and the dew on the grass reminded me of Scotland. It was far to warm to be Scotland of course but the dramatic scenery tickled something at the back of my hippocampus and I could smell the peaty incense of burning turf. Looking back I think this is because the nearby villages actually do use peat fires. We were in the middle of nowhere after all.
Golf is as Golf does, to abuse a Forrest Gump truism. The scores I'm saving for a later entry but suffice it to say the course was a lot tougher than Shen Zhen. In fact, the courses got progressively tougher as the week went on so my score increased linearly with the number of balls I lost. That doesn't matter though; I had a great time and surprisingly felt no frustration. That’s not entirely true. I was annoyed that I wasn't allowed to drive my own buggy (two to a cart remember) but since my caddy found my wobbling belly a source of infinite humour I was happy that she could concentrate on the road while I concentrated on putting double figures down on my score-card. Back at the clubhouse Dave and Will discussed the inevitable gambling that had emerged. They were playing skins on the back nine and Dave lost. Not surprising, even with the handicap system we'd worked out. Will is pretty good and shoots 100 on a good day. I was invited to join in too. 50 RMB a hole, but I get an extra shot a par threes/fours, and two on par fives. Oh well, it made the game more interesting so I would join in the next day. After a surprisingly average meal (everything else in this place far outshone the standard Chinese "just make it look good at a glace" approach to architecture and service. Since I'd eaten Dog the before I could hardly complain right? Anyway the Qing Dao (Tsing Tao, pronounced Ching da-o) beer was smooth and crisp and since I was on vacation that’s what mattered.
Next stop for the evening was the massage parlour. Having only heard rumours of Beijing massage parlours, and having been offered many massages by the ever present (and usually Korean) girls that hang around Roppongi, I've always thought the whole affair seemed a little seedy out here. I was proven wrong with this place. First off you shower, then sit in the Jacuzzi for a bit, get into some loose fitting shorts and a jacket, and head up to the massage room. We went for one of the full body options: the "Aromatherapy" massage. My protestations that this was probably for women went unheeded so I sat patiently in the room waiting for my masseuse. I didn't fall asleep, of this I'm positive, but somehow this two hour marathon massage session passed by in what seemed like minutes. I'm sure if it wasn't for the concern that I might fart when she was massaging my stomach it would have went quicker too. I also ended up smelling of Lavender (surely the campest of aromas) but we were told not to shower for a few hours at least. When I hit my bed I was out like a light... but the next day I'd never felt so energised. My limbs felt supple and strong, my swing was more open and accurate and my emotions were lifted. Maybe it was just the ego boost of having an attractive woman caressing almost your whole body or maybe the forced relaxation does something more than just normal sleep. Maybe its the psychological effect of allowing yourself to be kneaded like a dough but I think massage works. Also, I'm sure smelling 'purdy flower smells' helps.
I say all that, but it sure didn't help my golf. End of day two and Will was up several holes on Dave and up a few on me, but I was up on Dave too. The cool thing about skins play is that if you blow up on one whole, you only lose _one_ point. If you blow up during stroke play, you lose a point per stroke. At 50 RMB a point that can be expensive. Never mind though, the money was a distraction, the golf was the real reason we were there. I nearly had two birdies, but settled for a couple of pars instead. My short game is definitely the better part of my game at the moment. Its not _good_ but its not as bad as my game from the tee. Ugh, that reminds me about the fourth game. That's for later though.
Day three was bad for golf too. We'd moved to a different hotel (we were only in Spring City for two days). In fact we were back in Kunming and experiencing the delights of the local cuisine once more. This time it was more 'civilised'. Our driver took us to a neat local theatre were pissed up old guys toasted each other over the strains of a surprisingly lavish celebration of the 51 Chinese ethnic groups, or Minorities as they insisted on calling them. Numerically I guess minority is correct but you miss the idea that there are 51 distinct cultures in China. I'm sure there are more than 51 anyway but some are too 'minor' to count. The food was the kind of mix you see at a dim sum restaurant, but with what seems to be a more local spin on the contents - more mushrooms, beef and chicken rather than fish. Back at the hotel we went to the night club. It was a pretty seedy affair with cheezy singers and cheezier decor (I don't use that 'z' lightly you know) but they served alcohol so we were happy. But as I kept reminding myself, Golf was the name of the Game so we hit the sack in anticipation of another day of rooting through deep rough and bemoaning water hazards.
At this point it should be mentioned that on days three and four we played stroke play. The idea being that if we focus on stroke play it would help improve our score as we would hedge against the blow ups that don't matter so much in skins. This is a simply not true. Golf has a huge psychological component. By making the stroke play important we were bound to bottle it. Much to Will's lucrative delight... Even though his game suffered the same degradation. The third game was also the most tiring; I don't know why but maybe drinking in the sleazy club had undone the efforts of the masseuse at the golf resort. I think the fact that our game was ailing tired us emotionally too. So the final night was spent eating Chinese take-out in our rooms. Char Sui pork kicks ass in China. Its OK in the UK sucks in Japan but until I ate it in China I didn't know what it was _really_ meant to taste like!
This is the last golf story, I promise! On the last day I was feeling confident. I'd come to the conclusion that the previous day was the low point. I've often found that if you do the same thing to often you get worse before you get better. Having suffered the psychological low point and fiscally damaging round during the third day I thought it was time for a turn around. These are the stories we tell ourselves to get us through the trial that is life. So in retrospect I don't know why I was surprised by my first tee shot of the day. Golfers know when they are about to fluff a shot, maybe its psychosomatic, but moments before you strike the dimpled little bastard you either know its going to soar, or its going to end up in the exact same spot, but two inches into the soil. This was one of those shots. Backswing, nice and smooth - a little fast but I would hold it together. Keep watching the ball. Downswing, take it easy, don't smash it, just hold it to... awww Fuck. The ball made a sound like tearing a sheet of paper. PFFFffffft - thud. On this particular hole, the tee overlooked a rather fetching rock outcrop. The fateful 'thud' was the sound made by my ball falling several feet short of it. No problem - "Give me the Seven" I said to the caddy. The look I got should have said it all but today was going to by _my_ day... Clunk - pook - Thud. Pook is a word I've just made up. Its sound a golf ball makes when it hits a 15ft sandstone rock. Awww sheeeyuuut. Clunk - pook - Thud. The second time it hit the rock it ended up further behind me. The third time I just moved my ball past the rock. The way I saw it, I'd just lost 200RMB. Now was the time to cut my losses. Well, that was the omen for the day. At least the club-house had a nice pizza.
I think you are probably as tired of Golf as I am. So let me just say that the last golf game was played on another stunning course. The proclivity of wealthy courses and Chinese players is astounding. Playing golf there far outshone the courses I've seen elsewhere. I think on the top ten its still mostly Scottish courses but I've never played on any of those. Just Camelon, Larbert and Grangemouth. Sure the country has a bigger population than any other, but the truth is that just makes the divide between the rich and poor that much starker.
Sigh, enough of that. I was on HOLIDAY - I don't need to be thinking about sociology (I'll save that for my next article). There were three things left to do in China. 1) Pay Will the money he'd won from me (ouch), 2) Get a painful reflexology foot massage and wolf down some bullfrog (croak) and 3) Get on a plane to Hong Kong! But that, as they say, is another story.
So Day Three began. After about 10 hours sleep, I finally felt refreshed enough to get up and face the day. As is usual, the lack of sleep from the previous two days had left me drained. I always get this when I travel but fortunately I knew I could take this day easy. The plan was to meet Will at the airport and go to the golf resort. With that special non-motivation that only holiday-goers seem to be able to muster we roll out of bed and get ready. The view from the Window is still the contrasting shanty town against the backdrop of shiny towers and giant arches. More on this later - the dichotomy that is China still fascinates me but this isn't the right place to discuss it... The taxi we took to the airport was filthy. I was wearing my blue engrish.com T-shirt but it looked like it was a blue/brown camo shirt by the time I got out. Also, the taxi driver was a woman that insisted on taking maximum advantage of whatever slipstreams she could shoehorn her cab into. I can't imagine a Donkey cart generates enough air turbulence to have an effect on an approaching vehicle but she seemed determined to find out every time we narrowly passed one at high speed. Actually there aren't many donkey carts in Kunming. The pecking order -lowest to highest- seems to be: Pedestrians, cyclists, electric-motorcyclists (these were cool - and environmentally friendly... not that it made a difference there were so many cars), cars, buses, trucks and finally Animals. OK, not dogs etc, but horses, donkeys and anything else that someone's welfare might depend on. It shows that the Chinese value human life in a different way from western cultures. I'm not saying the value it less, just differently. For example, if someone were to be run over on a road, it is their fault for being on the road, but if someone were to run over a horse, the driver would probably have to cough up. To be fair, I respect this more than the how the home of litigious excess that is America devalues human life with its charade of revenge/justice (this is true of the UK too, and I'm not attacking Americans, just part of the culture), but its a bit unnerving, and as a foreigner you have to remember that "roads are dangerous" and listening to your stereo or reading a billboard while walking across the street is a bit of a death-wish. Indeed I almost got ran over once, not because I wasn’t paying attention but because I didn't realise that drivers WILL NOT STOP in China if you stand in front of them, and with my Rabbit in Headlights reaction it was a close thing. Luckily the traffic was heavy anyway so the car was slow and I got my act together. In this case, I wouldn't have been hurt.
At the Airport I had to pay Will so I handed over my wedge of Renminbi (it was a large wedge - the exchange rate is 14.2 vs. Sterling at time of writing). Will paid the travel Agent. I didn't even realise who the guy was until he got out of the van and disappeared into the sunset with my hard earned cash, they spoke Chinese after all. Then we were off ourselves. Introductions over and it was clear that Will is a smart and ambitious kind of guy. I won’t go into details but I could tell that a) I'd lose money to him at some point during the holiday and b) he probably grasped this as well. I wasn't bothered though because he is actually a nice guy. A consummate salesman; he had us geared up for the golf in no time. We arrived at the resort and I was pretty impressed. The view of the valley and the lake was stunning, especially at sunset. We were put up in a two bedroom villa near the top of the Valley. The course is on the Northern side and collects a lot of sunlight during the day. This meant the grass was lush, the air was fresh, and the general atmosphere was incredibly relaxing. This may have been due to the beers we necked in the club-house (I say clubhouse, it was really a hotel reception with appropriate bar/restaurant) but it felt good at the time.
Six-am is golf o'clock, or so I'm told. Aaaargh... I'm yawning just thinking about it. We started at about 7.30 after breakfast and a quick jolly to the driving range. The first hole was pretty impressive. The early morning light and the dew on the grass reminded me of Scotland. It was far to warm to be Scotland of course but the dramatic scenery tickled something at the back of my hippocampus and I could smell the peaty incense of burning turf. Looking back I think this is because the nearby villages actually do use peat fires. We were in the middle of nowhere after all.
Golf is as Golf does, to abuse a Forrest Gump truism. The scores I'm saving for a later entry but suffice it to say the course was a lot tougher than Shen Zhen. In fact, the courses got progressively tougher as the week went on so my score increased linearly with the number of balls I lost. That doesn't matter though; I had a great time and surprisingly felt no frustration. That’s not entirely true. I was annoyed that I wasn't allowed to drive my own buggy (two to a cart remember) but since my caddy found my wobbling belly a source of infinite humour I was happy that she could concentrate on the road while I concentrated on putting double figures down on my score-card. Back at the clubhouse Dave and Will discussed the inevitable gambling that had emerged. They were playing skins on the back nine and Dave lost. Not surprising, even with the handicap system we'd worked out. Will is pretty good and shoots 100 on a good day. I was invited to join in too. 50 RMB a hole, but I get an extra shot a par threes/fours, and two on par fives. Oh well, it made the game more interesting so I would join in the next day. After a surprisingly average meal (everything else in this place far outshone the standard Chinese "just make it look good at a glace" approach to architecture and service. Since I'd eaten Dog the before I could hardly complain right? Anyway the Qing Dao (Tsing Tao, pronounced Ching da-o) beer was smooth and crisp and since I was on vacation that’s what mattered.
Next stop for the evening was the massage parlour. Having only heard rumours of Beijing massage parlours, and having been offered many massages by the ever present (and usually Korean) girls that hang around Roppongi, I've always thought the whole affair seemed a little seedy out here. I was proven wrong with this place. First off you shower, then sit in the Jacuzzi for a bit, get into some loose fitting shorts and a jacket, and head up to the massage room. We went for one of the full body options: the "Aromatherapy" massage. My protestations that this was probably for women went unheeded so I sat patiently in the room waiting for my masseuse. I didn't fall asleep, of this I'm positive, but somehow this two hour marathon massage session passed by in what seemed like minutes. I'm sure if it wasn't for the concern that I might fart when she was massaging my stomach it would have went quicker too. I also ended up smelling of Lavender (surely the campest of aromas) but we were told not to shower for a few hours at least. When I hit my bed I was out like a light... but the next day I'd never felt so energised. My limbs felt supple and strong, my swing was more open and accurate and my emotions were lifted. Maybe it was just the ego boost of having an attractive woman caressing almost your whole body or maybe the forced relaxation does something more than just normal sleep. Maybe its the psychological effect of allowing yourself to be kneaded like a dough but I think massage works. Also, I'm sure smelling 'purdy flower smells' helps.
I say all that, but it sure didn't help my golf. End of day two and Will was up several holes on Dave and up a few on me, but I was up on Dave too. The cool thing about skins play is that if you blow up on one whole, you only lose _one_ point. If you blow up during stroke play, you lose a point per stroke. At 50 RMB a point that can be expensive. Never mind though, the money was a distraction, the golf was the real reason we were there. I nearly had two birdies, but settled for a couple of pars instead. My short game is definitely the better part of my game at the moment. Its not _good_ but its not as bad as my game from the tee. Ugh, that reminds me about the fourth game. That's for later though.
Day three was bad for golf too. We'd moved to a different hotel (we were only in Spring City for two days). In fact we were back in Kunming and experiencing the delights of the local cuisine once more. This time it was more 'civilised'. Our driver took us to a neat local theatre were pissed up old guys toasted each other over the strains of a surprisingly lavish celebration of the 51 Chinese ethnic groups, or Minorities as they insisted on calling them. Numerically I guess minority is correct but you miss the idea that there are 51 distinct cultures in China. I'm sure there are more than 51 anyway but some are too 'minor' to count. The food was the kind of mix you see at a dim sum restaurant, but with what seems to be a more local spin on the contents - more mushrooms, beef and chicken rather than fish. Back at the hotel we went to the night club. It was a pretty seedy affair with cheezy singers and cheezier decor (I don't use that 'z' lightly you know) but they served alcohol so we were happy. But as I kept reminding myself, Golf was the name of the Game so we hit the sack in anticipation of another day of rooting through deep rough and bemoaning water hazards.
At this point it should be mentioned that on days three and four we played stroke play. The idea being that if we focus on stroke play it would help improve our score as we would hedge against the blow ups that don't matter so much in skins. This is a simply not true. Golf has a huge psychological component. By making the stroke play important we were bound to bottle it. Much to Will's lucrative delight... Even though his game suffered the same degradation. The third game was also the most tiring; I don't know why but maybe drinking in the sleazy club had undone the efforts of the masseuse at the golf resort. I think the fact that our game was ailing tired us emotionally too. So the final night was spent eating Chinese take-out in our rooms. Char Sui pork kicks ass in China. Its OK in the UK sucks in Japan but until I ate it in China I didn't know what it was _really_ meant to taste like!
This is the last golf story, I promise! On the last day I was feeling confident. I'd come to the conclusion that the previous day was the low point. I've often found that if you do the same thing to often you get worse before you get better. Having suffered the psychological low point and fiscally damaging round during the third day I thought it was time for a turn around. These are the stories we tell ourselves to get us through the trial that is life. So in retrospect I don't know why I was surprised by my first tee shot of the day. Golfers know when they are about to fluff a shot, maybe its psychosomatic, but moments before you strike the dimpled little bastard you either know its going to soar, or its going to end up in the exact same spot, but two inches into the soil. This was one of those shots. Backswing, nice and smooth - a little fast but I would hold it together. Keep watching the ball. Downswing, take it easy, don't smash it, just hold it to... awww Fuck. The ball made a sound like tearing a sheet of paper. PFFFffffft - thud. On this particular hole, the tee overlooked a rather fetching rock outcrop. The fateful 'thud' was the sound made by my ball falling several feet short of it. No problem - "Give me the Seven" I said to the caddy. The look I got should have said it all but today was going to by _my_ day... Clunk - pook - Thud. Pook is a word I've just made up. Its sound a golf ball makes when it hits a 15ft sandstone rock. Awww sheeeyuuut. Clunk - pook - Thud. The second time it hit the rock it ended up further behind me. The third time I just moved my ball past the rock. The way I saw it, I'd just lost 200RMB. Now was the time to cut my losses. Well, that was the omen for the day. At least the club-house had a nice pizza.
I think you are probably as tired of Golf as I am. So let me just say that the last golf game was played on another stunning course. The proclivity of wealthy courses and Chinese players is astounding. Playing golf there far outshone the courses I've seen elsewhere. I think on the top ten its still mostly Scottish courses but I've never played on any of those. Just Camelon, Larbert and Grangemouth. Sure the country has a bigger population than any other, but the truth is that just makes the divide between the rich and poor that much starker.
Sigh, enough of that. I was on HOLIDAY - I don't need to be thinking about sociology (I'll save that for my next article). There were three things left to do in China. 1) Pay Will the money he'd won from me (ouch), 2) Get a painful reflexology foot massage and wolf down some bullfrog (croak) and 3) Get on a plane to Hong Kong! But that, as they say, is another story.
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Harf Engrish
Busy night eh? More engrish for you. Spotted in the yakiniku restaurant. "Half and Half" is a mix of light and dark beers - usually kirin. Its actually pretty good.
Yakiniku (again)
This is one of my favourite forms of restaurant in Japan. Yakiniku is basically korean barbecue. You order kimchi, leafy veggies, rice, and then you barbecue choice cuts of beef. This stuff melts in the mouth and its soooo good. I'll take anyone that visits me to one of these places. Its the best.
Karaoke
After the Tofu'll goodness, we went to Karaoke ('K' as they call it here). It was pretty good fun, and while Andy bested all comers with his rendition of Brown Eyed Girl and the impressive mime rowing, I noticed a few random quotations. I remember a line from a conversation I read once: "'Who was that a quote from?', 'I dont know, its just a general quote'". Anyway, this is deep gnomic stuff if ever I've seen it.
Go to Flickr for the fully documented experience.
Go to Flickr for the fully documented experience.
Tofu-ll
I went to a Tofu restaurant on Friday with a group of cool folk from work and beyond. This is one of the courses we devoured. There were eight successive courses of Tofu dishes (with the exception of the chicken course...). I'd been eating some filthy steaks and curries in preperation for this healthy poison, but it turned out to be really good. I'd even go back for some more!
Friday, October 21, 2005
Appypollyloggies
Sorry I haven't updated the blog in a while - I certainly wanted to finish the China saga while it was all fresh in my memory, but work has been unbelievably hectic for the past two weeks. Let me keep keep you entertained with my sheer apoplexy at the BBC news (my one link back to UK day to day happenings) who have put THIS story on its front page. I can't believe the kind of tripe they think us non-licence payers will accept as news. This is daily sport quality material. Whoever allowed that to go up should be taken outside, offered a cigarrette, blindfolded and have the Blue Peter dogs set on his genitalia.
OK - anger vented. Time to get back to work
OK - anger vented. Time to get back to work
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Doggy Style
The meat causing Dave to grin like someone looking forward to an unpleasant experience is Dog. Mmm mmm
Thursday, October 13, 2005
China Boy
Day1+2: Outward Bound
The date was Friday the 7th of October and I was sitting in the office counting down the minutes till I had to leave for my first holiday in Asia. I spent the last hour doing my check list:
1) Passport
2) Cash (I was planning to change money at the Airport)
3) Credit Card
4) E-Tickets
5) Shades
6) Golf Clubs
7) Clothes
8) Directions and Chinese translations for key waypoints
9) Camera, Phone, Chargers, PSP, Book...
Check. All is sorted and Its Midday. Time to get the train. Get to the Airport Early and check in... I thought to myself "This is where the fun begins!!". I was right...
"Excuse me sir - I am secret agent". Ummm... hokay. I had just got into the Northwest (the airline I was flying with) check in section and was about to put my ticket and passport on the counter. Some old dude was standing there and since I was the only person checking in at the time he obviously felt he should take advantage of the situation. I still haven't decided if he really meant he was a secret agent, or if he just had a bad translation.
"Please step this way". I had visions of latex gloves and a table to lean against but thankfully he directed me towards two pleasant looking women with a laptop and a blank face. I was still confused as to the claims of 00pushingEighty so I wasn't sure what was next. It turned out they just wanted to know where I was going... Phew. I didn't know that yet. 10 minutes and a pat down later I was heading through security.
So through security, sit in the lobby, get on the plane, waste three hours playing psp and reading book, get to HK and start sweating like an Eskimo in a Sauna. Hong Kong is a very humid place. It sits at the southern point of China and suffers a permanent cloud of hot sticky vapour ready to make you put your anti-perspirant to the test. It was about 10pm when I hit the office to dump my bags... After an hour of chatting to work folks on the phone I decided to hit Lan Kwai Fong (see the results in "Honkey Tonk Man").
Its possible to find a place like Lan Kwai Fong in almost any city. Its the spot where all the tourists go, its full of bars and some good restaurants, the people spill out and drink on the street, there are LOTs of pretty women (Nev - I've been assured that Honk Kong's lady boys are conspicuous by their absence), LOUD music and a friendly atmosphere. Its a must visit for any traveler in HK. I spent about three hours on my own just walking around, listening to live music and drinking beer. I had intended to meet up with a GS colleague but my phone wouldn't work. It turns out I needed to switch on 'automatic network' before I was guaranteed a signal but I didn't realise this at the time. Anyway, it was fun and I got chatting to a few American tourists.
3am - right, off to the office, phone home, grab bags, head to bus terminal. I met Dave in time for the 4am bus to Shen Zhen. Shen Zhen is just over the border into china. It was a bit of an economic 'experiment'. In other words its a run down third world city with cheap clothes and the highest crime rate in China. I heard a story about two guys on a motor bike trying to snatch a purse from a woman who wouldn't let go. They chopped her _HAND_ off to get it! Fortunately, Dave and I were only passing through. We met up with Raymond (my boss) and Michael Pang. So it was straight off to the Golf course - which put into stark contrast the difference between rich and poor in China. It was strange to be driving through Shen Zhen's worst district only to hit the green pastures, wide plains and well manicured lawns of the golf course. They also offered a range of houses to sell to government ministers and business men. I wasn't complaining though - I was still a little drunk and feeling squeezy. The temperature at 6am was already in the twenties!
Quick change, drink some water, and onto the course. Golf in Asia is vastly different from golf in the UK. Take Japan as an example, you travel an hour to get out of the city, tee off around 7-8am, play the front nine, take your one hour lunch break, play the back nine (since you often have a beer at lunch this can be entertaining), have a wash, eat dinner in the club house and get home around 4-5pm. You also get your own four person golf buggy to get you around. If you want a caddy you can have one but its not necessary. China is different again: Get there early, play all 18 holes, wash and grab lunch. So you can play more golf per day in China if you want. Also, you _have_ to have a caddy, whom you have to tip afterwards. I wasn't bothered about this though because we got to drive the golf buggies! If there is one reason to play golf, its to get your hands on the golf buggy. Unfortunately the courses weren't well enough maintained to drive the buggies on the course in the morning so we had to stick to the path :-( Otherwise it would have become a Jackass Movie re-creation holiday.
So, by the time the golf was finished I'd been awake for thirty hours. There was no time to rest though - we had a flight to catch from Shen Zhen airport to Kunming. Get washed, get in the car, check in at Shen Zhen (no secret agents this time), grab KFC for lunch, get on the flight - it was only a 1hr hop to Kunming, get off, get Taxi to Kunming and check in at hotel, get changed and sleep... no scratch that last one. There was no sleep. We went out to take a look around and eventually we were hungry enough to find a restaurant...
The Chinese will eat anything. Thats a bit of a sweeping statement but Its a pretty vast country. Given its Fifty One ethnic groups, its possible to eat just about anything by traveling from one side to the other. Some of it is really unique. For example, there is a special meal where a live monkey is trapped neck up in a table, the top of its skull is removed, hot oil is poured over the brain and you eat the brain whilst the monkey is still kicking. Thats level ten. I settled for level six...
The restaurant we found serves a special kind of hotpot from the North. On one side you've got a nice broth with lots of veggies etc, and on the other side an extremely spicy soup. In typical Chinese fashion we were given a checklist of dishes. The idea is that you tick off the dishes you want to eat, the waiter brings them, you cook them in the hotpot to your liking and you use the same checklist to pay at the end. Unfortunately neither Dave or myself can read Chinese. Dave could recognise the broad categories - beef, pork, veg - but not the specifics.
Fatal assumption #1: "Order the most expensive dish - that means it'll be high quality" - Stuart Byrne. This felt like a safe assumption becase a) It always works in Japan, and b) the most expensive dish was five US dollars...
In true dumb foreigner fashion we did just that. Luckily, they realised Dave didn't speak Mandarin. They brought the only English speaking waiter over who brought the English menu... A quick check of what we had ordered revealed that Beef's Penis was the most expensive beef dish. Ooh er, just thinking about it made me queasy. Those things are THREE FOOT LONG for christ's sake! I later discovered its is served chopped, so its possible we wouldn't have noticed WHAT we were ordering!!
The english menu brought up some other intriguing choices. Number one being Dog. Yes, we ordered dog. It was a bit gamey, but tasted mostly like Lamb and Venison. Compared to the streaky beef, liver, and cow's stomachs we also ordered, it was the nicest dish on the table! Dave didn't enjoy it though.
After a couple of hours, a small poodle, another walk around Kunming (during which I bought a golf t-shirt), I finally managed to get to bed. Having ate Rover, I felt ready for what the holiday could bring...
The date was Friday the 7th of October and I was sitting in the office counting down the minutes till I had to leave for my first holiday in Asia. I spent the last hour doing my check list:
1) Passport
2) Cash (I was planning to change money at the Airport)
3) Credit Card
4) E-Tickets
5) Shades
6) Golf Clubs
7) Clothes
8) Directions and Chinese translations for key waypoints
9) Camera, Phone, Chargers, PSP, Book...
Check. All is sorted and Its Midday. Time to get the train. Get to the Airport Early and check in... I thought to myself "This is where the fun begins!!". I was right...
"Excuse me sir - I am secret agent". Ummm... hokay. I had just got into the Northwest (the airline I was flying with) check in section and was about to put my ticket and passport on the counter. Some old dude was standing there and since I was the only person checking in at the time he obviously felt he should take advantage of the situation. I still haven't decided if he really meant he was a secret agent, or if he just had a bad translation.
"Please step this way". I had visions of latex gloves and a table to lean against but thankfully he directed me towards two pleasant looking women with a laptop and a blank face. I was still confused as to the claims of 00pushingEighty so I wasn't sure what was next. It turned out they just wanted to know where I was going... Phew. I didn't know that yet. 10 minutes and a pat down later I was heading through security.
So through security, sit in the lobby, get on the plane, waste three hours playing psp and reading book, get to HK and start sweating like an Eskimo in a Sauna. Hong Kong is a very humid place. It sits at the southern point of China and suffers a permanent cloud of hot sticky vapour ready to make you put your anti-perspirant to the test. It was about 10pm when I hit the office to dump my bags... After an hour of chatting to work folks on the phone I decided to hit Lan Kwai Fong (see the results in "Honkey Tonk Man").
Its possible to find a place like Lan Kwai Fong in almost any city. Its the spot where all the tourists go, its full of bars and some good restaurants, the people spill out and drink on the street, there are LOTs of pretty women (Nev - I've been assured that Honk Kong's lady boys are conspicuous by their absence), LOUD music and a friendly atmosphere. Its a must visit for any traveler in HK. I spent about three hours on my own just walking around, listening to live music and drinking beer. I had intended to meet up with a GS colleague but my phone wouldn't work. It turns out I needed to switch on 'automatic network' before I was guaranteed a signal but I didn't realise this at the time. Anyway, it was fun and I got chatting to a few American tourists.
3am - right, off to the office, phone home, grab bags, head to bus terminal. I met Dave in time for the 4am bus to Shen Zhen. Shen Zhen is just over the border into china. It was a bit of an economic 'experiment'. In other words its a run down third world city with cheap clothes and the highest crime rate in China. I heard a story about two guys on a motor bike trying to snatch a purse from a woman who wouldn't let go. They chopped her _HAND_ off to get it! Fortunately, Dave and I were only passing through. We met up with Raymond (my boss) and Michael Pang. So it was straight off to the Golf course - which put into stark contrast the difference between rich and poor in China. It was strange to be driving through Shen Zhen's worst district only to hit the green pastures, wide plains and well manicured lawns of the golf course. They also offered a range of houses to sell to government ministers and business men. I wasn't complaining though - I was still a little drunk and feeling squeezy. The temperature at 6am was already in the twenties!
Quick change, drink some water, and onto the course. Golf in Asia is vastly different from golf in the UK. Take Japan as an example, you travel an hour to get out of the city, tee off around 7-8am, play the front nine, take your one hour lunch break, play the back nine (since you often have a beer at lunch this can be entertaining), have a wash, eat dinner in the club house and get home around 4-5pm. You also get your own four person golf buggy to get you around. If you want a caddy you can have one but its not necessary. China is different again: Get there early, play all 18 holes, wash and grab lunch. So you can play more golf per day in China if you want. Also, you _have_ to have a caddy, whom you have to tip afterwards. I wasn't bothered about this though because we got to drive the golf buggies! If there is one reason to play golf, its to get your hands on the golf buggy. Unfortunately the courses weren't well enough maintained to drive the buggies on the course in the morning so we had to stick to the path :-( Otherwise it would have become a Jackass Movie re-creation holiday.
So, by the time the golf was finished I'd been awake for thirty hours. There was no time to rest though - we had a flight to catch from Shen Zhen airport to Kunming. Get washed, get in the car, check in at Shen Zhen (no secret agents this time), grab KFC for lunch, get on the flight - it was only a 1hr hop to Kunming, get off, get Taxi to Kunming and check in at hotel, get changed and sleep... no scratch that last one. There was no sleep. We went out to take a look around and eventually we were hungry enough to find a restaurant...
The Chinese will eat anything. Thats a bit of a sweeping statement but Its a pretty vast country. Given its Fifty One ethnic groups, its possible to eat just about anything by traveling from one side to the other. Some of it is really unique. For example, there is a special meal where a live monkey is trapped neck up in a table, the top of its skull is removed, hot oil is poured over the brain and you eat the brain whilst the monkey is still kicking. Thats level ten. I settled for level six...
The restaurant we found serves a special kind of hotpot from the North. On one side you've got a nice broth with lots of veggies etc, and on the other side an extremely spicy soup. In typical Chinese fashion we were given a checklist of dishes. The idea is that you tick off the dishes you want to eat, the waiter brings them, you cook them in the hotpot to your liking and you use the same checklist to pay at the end. Unfortunately neither Dave or myself can read Chinese. Dave could recognise the broad categories - beef, pork, veg - but not the specifics.
Fatal assumption #1: "Order the most expensive dish - that means it'll be high quality" - Stuart Byrne. This felt like a safe assumption becase a) It always works in Japan, and b) the most expensive dish was five US dollars...
In true dumb foreigner fashion we did just that. Luckily, they realised Dave didn't speak Mandarin. They brought the only English speaking waiter over who brought the English menu... A quick check of what we had ordered revealed that Beef's Penis was the most expensive beef dish. Ooh er, just thinking about it made me queasy. Those things are THREE FOOT LONG for christ's sake! I later discovered its is served chopped, so its possible we wouldn't have noticed WHAT we were ordering!!
The english menu brought up some other intriguing choices. Number one being Dog. Yes, we ordered dog. It was a bit gamey, but tasted mostly like Lamb and Venison. Compared to the streaky beef, liver, and cow's stomachs we also ordered, it was the nicest dish on the table! Dave didn't enjoy it though.
After a couple of hours, a small poodle, another walk around Kunming (during which I bought a golf t-shirt), I finally managed to get to bed. Having ate Rover, I felt ready for what the holiday could bring...
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Holiday Snaps
Please check out Flickr for my latest holiday snaps. I'll be putting up a report when I get a spare few hours to write one...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
